I wanted to write a post about dealing with perfection. The only problem is there is so much to talk about. Because of this, I decided the best solution would be to write this out in three different posts. I think the drive to be perfect is what hurts us the most, and no matter how hard we try, we’re only human and perfection is something that can’t be attained in our own strength. Once we understand this, life becomes a lot easier.
Time for me to be a bit vulnerable (le sigh). I personally struggle with acne. I go through stages when my skin somewhat tolerates me, and other times when it’s going on nuclear revenge and I start to question if I ever finished puberty (like come oooon! I’m in my 30’s already, why won’t you just let me live in the land of clear skin). The only thing that bugs me more than the acne is the scarring! I try to stay away from harsh chemicals, and I think I’ve tried everything on the natural market to get rid of it. I even finally saw a dermatologist who gave me lightening cream. All it did was cause me to look like Michael Jackson’s (Beat It days) distant cousin. I was looking a little too light for my liking, and it just made the scars stand out more! I’m also someone who doesn’t like to wear makeup; it’s not because I don’t believe in the magic that is foundation, I’m just too darn lazy. It’s hard enough getting out the door on time to catch the train without having to put on a full face of makeup!!!!
I will admit, these scars have taken a toll on my self-esteem because it is all I tend to see when I look in the mirror. Especially when the first thing people see is your face, and there are way too many women in the DC area with flawless skin (with and without makeup… darn those flawless skin women). So sometimes I think, do people see me or do they see the scars (the struggle is real y’all). BUT (and how we love a but), I’m finally learning that I’m am perfectly made just the way I am, flaws and all. God made me so perfect, He doesn’t see acne, or scars, or cellulite, un-manicured toes and fingers, He sees His creation, the one He spent 9 months (give or take a few weeks, I didn’t want to come out… so comfy) creating. So now I try and look at myself through His eyes (while at the same time making microdermabrasion appointments at Dr. Oldham’s office). When I really think about it, I’ve never had anyone ever mention the acne scars, it’s only what I see in the mirror. So this strive for perfection has only left me concentrating on my imperfections, and where we are weak, Christ is strong!
I couldn’t imagine being perfect! So much pressure to stay there! I think this is why I was a solid “B”/”C” student. All those “A” students had the pressure to stay on top! I had no pressure, I was just cruising in the middle enjoying life! If we just let go of trying to become perfect and accept that we are perfectly made, think of all the anxiety and fear that would be resolved.
Is there something that you’ve been trying to be perfect in? Something you have either learned to let go or you are still working on? Let me know! I won’t feel like the most vulnerable person on this page!
With love,
Tifa
Tea With Tifa 
I can definitely relate! I struggled with acne from middle school through my now current adult years. These hormones are not merciful at all. I concur that when you look through the lens of Christ you receive true clarity. It’s crazy because I always say that God shielded me, because I was called “pizza face” but I think I wasn’t phased because my focus was elsewhere. Interestingly, as I get older I realize that people don’t see “me” but the God in me and that’s my whole aim. Beauty is fleeting as the Bible states. I think focusing on character and integrity is what is lasting, because at the end of the day that leaves a lasting impression. I think it’s healthy to better ourselves for us, not others–because even when people don’t comment we should be satisfied with who we are. Self talk is so important to a healthier self confidence ! Anyways I could go on forever but I definitely feel you, thanks for being tranaparent–and cheers to your journey of self-love. Clank clank!
Thanks Jo! It’s definitely a journey to learn to love ourselves. We are slammed daily with what beauty is by the media, and we need to take the time and realize we are beautiful despite what society says is the “trend”
Love the entry! To Tifa and Josephine. The love you both have for God shines immensely. I’m truly awed and inspired by the beauty I see in both of you. And the ladies in our group. I definitely struggle with trying to be perfect daily but I’m constantly reminding myself that God loves me no matter how I look or how I perform. And also recognizing I can’t control and probably shouldn’t be trying to control everything. He’s in control. It doesn’t matter if people judge me (although it hurts to think people do): I shouldn’t be seeking their approval. I only need My Father’s approval and I know He approves of me. But yeah, it’s a struggle that I know will only strengthen me in time through Him. Thanks Tifa for your weekly encouragement!
Thanks SS for sharing your heart. I think it’s something we all struggle with. As women, there is this “invisible” pressure to be the perfect employee, boss, wife, mother, daughter, etc. We need to see ourselves through the eyes of The Father, and it’s a long journey to get there!
Thanks for sharing Tifa!!! Loved this. I struggle with shooting for perfection at work, but have to remind myself I am human and am not perfect. I am treasured and loved by God AND many dear friends and family😃 💗
Thanks for sharing Annie! Perfection at work is super hard, especially when we have the pressure of keeping a job! I hope and pray you have a boss that allows you to make mistakes and works with you on how to correct! I know when you’re leading people, you will do great in loving them in their weaknesses as Christ lives you in yours!
Thanks for sharing Tifa! I guess for me I struggle with wanting to be good at everything I try. I have the fear of people seeing that I’m not good enough. So I’m often much harder on myself especially when it comes to work and school. I’ve had to learn recently that sometimes it’s not worth it killing myself just because I want to be miss perfect. I’m realizing that God has my future and has a great plan for me regardless of how I do. I’m not saying that I shouldn’t try my best but I’m saying that if I don’t spend all night trying to proof read and rewrite a paper and don’t score 100 on it, that’s ok. I think that God can still use me if I’m a B student who knows how to balance her life and spends time taking care of herself and investing in relationships. I’m learning that God covers me. He wants me to do my best but sometimes my best involves me not being perfect. I can only do what i can do with what I have on my plate and that’s ok. God has been faithful to me. My identity is not on how others see me succeed. But my identity is on Christ and He honors me when I’m faithful and doesn’t punish me when I’m not perfect, even when I stumble a little
I feel you Pas! I was never a “stellar” student, so I never put that kind of pressure on myself. One thing I have learned is that balance is one of the best tools to have. There are times I set a timer for myself to do a task, and when the alarm goes off, I have to move on so I don’t obsess (this pertains more to work in my life).
All that has ever stood out to me is your warmth and smile Tifa. I never noticed anything but I also struggle with that and I am way past teendom.
You are perfectly and wonderfully made my friend.